The other night, me and a roommate got into a heated intellectual debate. It got heated enough that we both recognized the need to cut the conversation off immediately, walk away, and not start it up again. The Spirit immediately began to work on my heart, on how I should have acted differently, spoken differently; on how my attitude was all wrong (I wanted to win a debate, rather than come alongside a brother and learn/share). The Spirit also immediately illuminated how to go about seeking reconciliation. And I never did. I completely dropped the ball.
Today, this same roommate was telling me about how he had been rude to someone else. Together we sat down and discussed how to apologize well, all the while our need to reconcile from last night was nagging at the back of my head. While exhorting my roommate to suck down his pride, I myself refused to do the same. A few minutes after our conversation, he brought the matter up with the purpose of reconciliation, and we did, joyfully. All the bitterness, all the accusations I wanted to lay upon him are all gone. They mean nothing to me anymore. I have gained my brother (in a reciprocal sense).
I wonder if the reason we don’t see more of this in the church is not because we’re more mature Christians and don’t have conflicts, but because we’re not fellowshiping well with our brothers and sisters, experiencing little opportunity for conflict.